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Another year passes....
2005 was truly a challenging year for me. A lot of it was internal, however, and even though I manage to update this blog somewhat infrequently, albeit seriously, for the most part, I still don't necessarily share my innermost thoughts on everything. Surprise, surprise, I have a problem with intimacy. Who'd a thunk it?
I feel as though the year that was has been a turning point for me. I'm not exactly sure what I've been turned toward, but I know that I am being pulled back into the person that I was before I met![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dch4. Whether this is good or bad, I'm not sure. He had an uncanny ability of helping me take life less seriously. Unfortunately, the fact that he's living in NC now does not provide either proximity to his calming influence, nor the regular "kick in the ass" that I need not to withdraw into my work.
I thought a lot about the meme I posted earlier today, and I realized something that probably isn't apparent to most. As career focused as I am, I put friends first. Friends are my family, and there are very few people I truly consider my friends. Those close to me realize that I draw a very distinct line between "acquaintances" and "friends." Friends truly do bring out the best of my spirit. There have been several times in my life when I have stayed up all night to talk to a friend in need, putting my job in jeopardy (i.e., falling asleep in an important meeting and almost getting fired, etc.). Once, I even walked off the job to go to the hospital to be with someone I cared about who needed my support (almost getting fired again).
So if you think I don't have time for you because I'm busy with work, the bottom line is - don't make that assumption. But don't be trivial either, because I do place a very high premium on my work. I love what I do, I'm challenged by it, and those things that are not "good" about it will motivate me to a higher level of success. That's one thing I'm sure of, that I'm constantly changing. I'm here if you need me, and I'll move mountains if I have to.
That being said, my mini-rant is this: Don't complain if you don't want me to help you fix the problem. Don't complain for the sake of complaining. One of the things I'm going to do in 2006 is eliminate the negative people in my life. Somehow, I've let several creep in over the span of the last few years. I'm a person of action and I'm motivated to change. If you don't want to change your life, so be it. I'm not casting judgement on you. But I'm a very empathic person, and your pain really does stress me out.
I really loved the post on spoons thatladyleo posted. I don't complain a lot about my medical problems. Heck, I'm pretty sure most people don't know the full extent of them. But I've only got so many spoons too, and a lot of them have to be reserved for my job, especially with the added stress of all the travel I'm doing. I also want to be a good friend and be supportive, but I can't help you up if you just want to wallow in self-pity.
For me, 2006 will be a year of realigning my priorities. It's time for a new 1-yr., 3-yr. and 5-yr. plan. I'm going to be on vacation next week, and haven't completely decided what I'm doing. I might take a road trip, I might just hibernate. One thing is certain, I'm going to do my annual goal-setting and actually give it a "PMI" approach. Structure gives me a lot more comfort than it once did (dch4 can attest to that).
This post was not directed at anyone in particular. It has been a feeble attempt to help people understand what makes me tick.
Ciao for now.
I feel as though the year that was has been a turning point for me. I'm not exactly sure what I've been turned toward, but I know that I am being pulled back into the person that I was before I met
dch4. Whether this is good or bad, I'm not sure. He had an uncanny ability of helping me take life less seriously. Unfortunately, the fact that he's living in NC now does not provide either proximity to his calming influence, nor the regular "kick in the ass" that I need not to withdraw into my work.I thought a lot about the meme I posted earlier today, and I realized something that probably isn't apparent to most. As career focused as I am, I put friends first. Friends are my family, and there are very few people I truly consider my friends. Those close to me realize that I draw a very distinct line between "acquaintances" and "friends." Friends truly do bring out the best of my spirit. There have been several times in my life when I have stayed up all night to talk to a friend in need, putting my job in jeopardy (i.e., falling asleep in an important meeting and almost getting fired, etc.). Once, I even walked off the job to go to the hospital to be with someone I cared about who needed my support (almost getting fired again).
So if you think I don't have time for you because I'm busy with work, the bottom line is - don't make that assumption. But don't be trivial either, because I do place a very high premium on my work. I love what I do, I'm challenged by it, and those things that are not "good" about it will motivate me to a higher level of success. That's one thing I'm sure of, that I'm constantly changing. I'm here if you need me, and I'll move mountains if I have to.
That being said, my mini-rant is this: Don't complain if you don't want me to help you fix the problem. Don't complain for the sake of complaining. One of the things I'm going to do in 2006 is eliminate the negative people in my life. Somehow, I've let several creep in over the span of the last few years. I'm a person of action and I'm motivated to change. If you don't want to change your life, so be it. I'm not casting judgement on you. But I'm a very empathic person, and your pain really does stress me out.
I really loved the post on spoons that
ladyleo posted. I don't complain a lot about my medical problems. Heck, I'm pretty sure most people don't know the full extent of them. But I've only got so many spoons too, and a lot of them have to be reserved for my job, especially with the added stress of all the travel I'm doing. I also want to be a good friend and be supportive, but I can't help you up if you just want to wallow in self-pity.For me, 2006 will be a year of realigning my priorities. It's time for a new 1-yr., 3-yr. and 5-yr. plan. I'm going to be on vacation next week, and haven't completely decided what I'm doing. I might take a road trip, I might just hibernate. One thing is certain, I'm going to do my annual goal-setting and actually give it a "PMI" approach. Structure gives me a lot more comfort than it once did (
dch4 can attest to that).This post was not directed at anyone in particular. It has been a feeble attempt to help people understand what makes me tick.
Ciao for now.