I don't think you're alone. I've been pondering this for a couple of days, and I think I've hit on some things that I want to ponder more.
1) We sabotage ourselves with science and pseudo-science: I wonder if part of the problem of motivation and perception being dramatically different is the fault of Jung and Freud and all their myriad brain children. We say "I want this for these reasons," and everyone who's had psych 102 or read a self-help novel says "Oh, but what are the real reasons that she wants that, and is *that* what she really wants?"
2) In LARP and other RP subcultures, we add a layer of complexity that confuses things even more. You have the player's wants, the character's wants, the player's "real" motivations, the character's "real" motivations, and you "win" the game by figuring out the difference between overt and covert, conscious and subconsious. Folks who are really good at RP, and folks who are really bad at RP are even harder to figure, because of the breakneck velocity of their expression of those motivations.
3) We spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what other people are thinking, rather than listening to what they're saying. Taking something at face value is an almost alien concept.
In short, I don't think you're a poor communicator. I do think, however, that we're all guilty of thinking we know what someone else's motivations are.
no subject
1) We sabotage ourselves with science and pseudo-science: I wonder if part of the problem of motivation and perception being dramatically different is the fault of Jung and Freud and all their myriad brain children. We say "I want this for these reasons," and everyone who's had psych 102 or read a self-help novel says "Oh, but what are the real reasons that she wants that, and is *that* what she really wants?"
2) In LARP and other RP subcultures, we add a layer of complexity that confuses things even more. You have the player's wants, the character's wants, the player's "real" motivations, the character's "real" motivations, and you "win" the game by figuring out the difference between overt and covert, conscious and subconsious. Folks who are really good at RP, and folks who are really bad at RP are even harder to figure, because of the breakneck velocity of their expression of those motivations.
3) We spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what other people are thinking, rather than listening to what they're saying. Taking something at face value is an almost alien concept.
In short, I don't think you're a poor communicator. I do think, however, that we're all guilty of thinking we know what someone else's motivations are.