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For those that missed it last night (yes, I'm doing a lemming).
What do you really think of me?
Heh. The results thus far have been... interesting... some poor soul out there finds me attractive... too bad they didn't speak up while I was still single... :) It's very interesting to see how others see you... it's always different than how you see yourself. If you keep up with the web stats, it's relatively easy to figure out mathematically each person's survey answers... I think overall I'm pleased with the results, and mildly surprised... either that, or people are still being overly polite even behind the veil of anonimity (sp?).
::sigh:: No big surprise, but damn, I've got a 9.3 on the "Do I work too much?" Question. And I *know* that Michael hasn't even thrown his opinion in there, because he doesn't know about the website, and doesn't read my LJ. OK people, I'm asking for comments here... I don't get it... I don't put in lots of overtime on my job... (not like I used to, anyway)... I don't have 3 or 4 paying jobs at once (like I used to), OK, OK, so I *am* doing lots of Cam stuff.. but that's not working, is it? I mean, this is a voluntary thing... how can that be "working" too much? OK, I admit I almost never relax... relaxed for me is asleep, and we all know I don't get enough sleep either... Maybe I just give the "appearance" of working too much because of the high priority I put on my career. (It's #1 in my life).
I don't know... it just seems like in the days when I "relaxed" more, my priorities were different... and as such, I didn't pay the bills on time, I didn't stay employed at any one thing very long, I never had any money, I just floated along like a ruderless ship. Then I got my act together, found something that I really *enjoyed* doing for a living, and my focus has changed. I know that it's possible for me to be a couch potato... and anyone who has ever seen what happens to me when I plop down in front of a televsion can attest to how I can "zone"... (I mean really, 8 hours of the History channel just because I'm too lazy to see what else is on? Be real). That's why I *don't* own a television. I'd never get anything else done.
Maybe I do need to find a happy medium, but I don't know where it's hiding. I think the only time I found it was when I took a year off from the Cam, but I think that not being in the Cam right now would seriously compromise my relationship with Michael, as that is the primary thing that we have in common with one another. I do know how to have a life outside of LARP... I've done so for many years. However, I have no doubt my social circle (what there is of one), would drastically change were I to drop out of the Org. I'm realistic about that in that it is the sole thing I have in common with many of the people I LARP with. Outside of the Cam, my interests are very solitary kinds of pursuits... computer games, reading, travelling, etc.
Maybe people think I work too hard because I'm a hermit most of the time. It's not that I'm working, it's that I don't party. I'm not sure most people realize that I'm a recovering alcoholic. I don't drink for a reason, and I don't generally hang out around drinking because I don't particularly trust myself around the bottle. Lots of painful emotions tied up to my drinking days as well... and unfortunately, a lot of the times I do spend around others drinking, I can see them making similar mistakes to the ones I lived through, and well, it just stinks because I'm too damn empathic at times.
God this has been much more maudlin than I am wont to be here. I think it's because I'm sick. I hate being sick. I'm going to crawl back into bed now.
What do you really think of me?
Heh. The results thus far have been... interesting... some poor soul out there finds me attractive... too bad they didn't speak up while I was still single... :) It's very interesting to see how others see you... it's always different than how you see yourself. If you keep up with the web stats, it's relatively easy to figure out mathematically each person's survey answers... I think overall I'm pleased with the results, and mildly surprised... either that, or people are still being overly polite even behind the veil of anonimity (sp?).
::sigh:: No big surprise, but damn, I've got a 9.3 on the "Do I work too much?" Question. And I *know* that Michael hasn't even thrown his opinion in there, because he doesn't know about the website, and doesn't read my LJ. OK people, I'm asking for comments here... I don't get it... I don't put in lots of overtime on my job... (not like I used to, anyway)... I don't have 3 or 4 paying jobs at once (like I used to), OK, OK, so I *am* doing lots of Cam stuff.. but that's not working, is it? I mean, this is a voluntary thing... how can that be "working" too much? OK, I admit I almost never relax... relaxed for me is asleep, and we all know I don't get enough sleep either... Maybe I just give the "appearance" of working too much because of the high priority I put on my career. (It's #1 in my life).
I don't know... it just seems like in the days when I "relaxed" more, my priorities were different... and as such, I didn't pay the bills on time, I didn't stay employed at any one thing very long, I never had any money, I just floated along like a ruderless ship. Then I got my act together, found something that I really *enjoyed* doing for a living, and my focus has changed. I know that it's possible for me to be a couch potato... and anyone who has ever seen what happens to me when I plop down in front of a televsion can attest to how I can "zone"... (I mean really, 8 hours of the History channel just because I'm too lazy to see what else is on? Be real). That's why I *don't* own a television. I'd never get anything else done.
Maybe I do need to find a happy medium, but I don't know where it's hiding. I think the only time I found it was when I took a year off from the Cam, but I think that not being in the Cam right now would seriously compromise my relationship with Michael, as that is the primary thing that we have in common with one another. I do know how to have a life outside of LARP... I've done so for many years. However, I have no doubt my social circle (what there is of one), would drastically change were I to drop out of the Org. I'm realistic about that in that it is the sole thing I have in common with many of the people I LARP with. Outside of the Cam, my interests are very solitary kinds of pursuits... computer games, reading, travelling, etc.
Maybe people think I work too hard because I'm a hermit most of the time. It's not that I'm working, it's that I don't party. I'm not sure most people realize that I'm a recovering alcoholic. I don't drink for a reason, and I don't generally hang out around drinking because I don't particularly trust myself around the bottle. Lots of painful emotions tied up to my drinking days as well... and unfortunately, a lot of the times I do spend around others drinking, I can see them making similar mistakes to the ones I lived through, and well, it just stinks because I'm too damn empathic at times.
God this has been much more maudlin than I am wont to be here. I think it's because I'm sick. I hate being sick. I'm going to crawl back into bed now.
