Good morning LJ!

I've been lax. Shame on me. I've been taking a vacation away from a lot of stuff. Cam stuff, life stuff, relationship stuff... I've been doing an excellent impression of an ostrich.

Went out to dinner last night at On The Border with amari and sub_m (I finally got him to use his journal). Great conversation was had by all. I really like hanging out with K, she makes me smile. That's really the key to endearing me to someone, they must be able to make me laugh.

I've been trying to consider where I'm going in life again these days. A lot of my friends have been angsting about the same thing. Must be something about springtime that makes people want to dust the cobwebs out of more than just their closets. I had an idea the other day, one that might keep me more motivated about my diet, but it might be silly. I'm not sure, so I suppose I'm actually looking for feedback on this post.

Here's my idea. Normally, when people think about writing, they intend to "write the great American novel." On the other hand, people always say, "write about what you know." I've been doing a lot more cooking lately, and as a result, I've bought a lot of cookbooks lately. My problem with most cookbooks is that I can never find anything that suits my particular style of cooking. I'm always combining recipes, making substitutions, etc., etc. Over time, I realized that I know a hell of a lot about food, and nutrition and what works for me.

I don't want to write a diet book. But I think I do want to write a "healthy living" cookbook that is full of simple, easy to prepare recipes of only a few ingredients. Things that can be cooked in a slow-cooker, or microwaved, or BBQ. But I don't want to just write a traditional cookbook either. I want to write a story about my relationship with food, and how it almost destroyed my health, and what I'm doing to get myself back on track. Almost in a "Calendar-A-Day" format where for each date there are recipes for the day and a "journal" entry of my feelings regarding the weight-loss process.

I'm just not sure if this is a commercially viable idea. On the other hand, I think that the process would be immensely rewarding, even if I never wound up publishing the cookbook. For ease of use, I was thinking of writing it using "PRIVATE" LJ entries, and once my journey was complete (aka, I finally lose that last 150 lbs. I want to lose), I would shop the book around to be published, or perhaps even try self-publishing on the web.

For one thing, having to write one new "recipe" or meal menu per day (it's too ambitious to think I won't have repeats over the course of three years) would be rather fun. I realized I have a serious relationship with food and eating, and I know what a lot of my triggers are. I've also tried to eliminate those triggers, etc., and have realized that kind of behavior modification probably isn't possible. But what *is* possible is making healthy choices when I do get stressed out, etc. It's also about reassuring other overweight people that they're not alone, and that there are alternatives to fad diets and weight-loss surgery that don't have to be time-consuming, all about exercise or difficult to maintain over the course of your lifetime.

Lately, since I've been eating more fruits, vegetables and have returned to the "food pyramid" I realized that it really does make sense. Processed foods and sweets aren't really that filling. But an apple is. It's really amazing. Although I'm eating six meals a day, and much more "food" - I'm losing weight again. Because what I'm eating is healthy. That old FDA food pyramid really works, and it's not that hard to implement into your life. Of course, the other thing that I'm doing is limiting my carbs and saturated fats, and what I need to do more of is limit my sodium intake, which can be done by eliminating processed foods and restaurant meals.

That doesn't mean I won't continue to dine out. I also enjoy being waited on. But I'm rediscovering an old part of my relationship with food (cooking) that I think I've been missing out on for quite some time in the name of "convenience." I just need to take baby steps to the goal and we'll see where it leads.

Enough rambling for now, I've probably bored everyone to tears.

Ciao for now.