As substantive as I can be right now....

Yesterday's appt. with the specialist was a disaster. He totally disagrees with my GP. He is also a totally arrogant asshole who did not take an adequate medical history nor allow me to talk about what was really going on with me. Condescending bastard. He wants to take a "wait and see" approach, which, when I had discussed that approach with my doctor, he had said that was absolutely not an option with my blood work looking as it does.

Let's just say that my doc and I have been through hell and back several times, and he has saved my life on multiple occasions, so I don't care if the other guy is the freakin' specialist, I'm going for another opinion now. (There is also a hidden story here I'm not telling because frankly, it's just too disgusting to talk about, but I'll sum it up in one word, "GREED").

So I have another referral, and I have to call on Monday to make an appt. to see that specialist sometime soon. I'm just ticked off that I couldn't get it done yesterday, since I had taken the day off to take care of things. While I've decided that I won't let work deter me from taking the most drastic treatment option, that doesn't mean I'm not trying to disrupt work as little as possible.

S has been wonderful, even though he's had a lot of job challenges this week himself. He's exhausted, and I worry about him getting sick because he worrying about me. He had a hellish night at the airport last night, so we didn't get to see each other, but that's just the way it goes sometimes. I just get really depressed when thinking about the "rest of your life" kind of scenarios however, because I'm just not really sure I have all that much time left.

I am going to finish the corporate taxes this weekend, get my hair cut/colored again, revise my will, prepare a medical power of attorney and just basically get my shit together. I have so many decisions to make, I have no idea where to begin. One of the things I need to do is take a household inventory, for both insurance and estate purposes. If anyone wants to volunteer to help me take care of that and come by my house while I cry a lot, feel free.

Ciao for now

Just for the "hell" of it...

, you're now logged in!

Below you'll find your test result. After, continue on to your homescreen to discover what we're about.

continue to OkCupid homescreen >

HELL LEVEL 3 Raw score: 95%

There's a special place in Hell for you: the basement penthouse. You scored the nastiest possible score on the Sexual Hell Test. You have no sexual restraint whatsoever. You'll take pleasure however you can get it, and my guess is you get it a lot. If for some reason you don't right now, you will soon, as people in your category only tend to spiral down ever deeper into the abyss of carnality and delicious sin. Congratulations. I, personally, think that this category is the best. Paradoxically enough, sexual liberation and indulgence can only bring you closer to purity. AVOID: all but level 3 hellions like yourself. You wouldn't want to ruin anyone, now would you?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 99% on hellishness

Link: The Sexual HELL Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

My day is winding down...

I made some unexpected progress on the house today. C came over and fixed the radiator hose in the truck, and then helped me hang the artwork I bought in San Francisco. The entire energy of the house is changing as I finish it up, bit by bit. Lots of good progress today, but I didn't get a bunch of other stuff done that I wanted to work on... no matter, it will get resolved eventually. I'm trying not to stress about the little stuff.

I love summer, but it stays light later, and that makes it harder for me to sleep. It's really hard going to bed when it's light outside. I wound up taking 2, 2-hr. naps today. I'm just so exhausted from this damn medical thing that is going on. It's making me so unproductive it's frustrating, but it was my wake-up call to slow down somewhat, though I'm not sure I've heeded it all that well.

S never called today, which worries me a little since I know how awful things were last night at work for him. I figure he's just still sleeping, but damn, it's almost 7 p.m. Friday is always his worst night at work though, so it's just something I suppose I'll have to get used to whether I like it or not. Right now, I like everything else so much about S, it's only a small annoyance.

Well at this point, I think I'm just babbling randomly, so I'm going to shut LJ down, play a little WoW, and then head to bed.

Ciao for now.