It's been a while since I was serious...

I've spent a lot of time deep in thought today. This time of the year always does that to me. I'm approaching my annual planning period, and I think I have made the decision to wipe the slate clean of all previous goals. My life has changed so dramatically this year that I need to reconnect with who I am, or more accurately, reinvent who I am. My hopes and dreams have changed, some drastically, others only slightly.

The good news is that work is fulfilling again, and it's not a chore to get up in the morning and drive into work. It's still emotionally draining however, but I feel that there is a maturity, a "coming of age" that is happening to me. I waver back and forth about whether or not I will go back to being entrepreneurial again full-time. My company is going through annual enrollment for benefits again, and they're offering some stuff that makes it very attractive to me to stay.

I have decided to put off my surgery until at least 2009 and to try to get the results I want through hard work in the gym instead. Part of the reason is work-related however, as there is a major project being implemented mid-2008, which is originally when I had planned to schedule my remaining surgeries. However, I believe that my expertise will be needed at my company then more than ever, and I want to see that project ushered into Production.

I never could have predicted what would happen to me in 2007. Friends. Surgery. Cancer. 12 weeks on disability, and out of work. Job change. Promotion. Love.

I'm still in the process of recovery. Not physically, but emotionally. My world went through the wringer, and I with it. In the midst of it all, I found my Soul Mate. But there are challenges in the relationship. Our commitments to other people keep us from spending time with one another as often as we would like. Life seems to conspire against us quite frequently when we do manage to get our schedules coordinated. It appeared that we had cleared our schedules so that we could spend four or five days together. We got just one. I was angry, and I cried. But it wasn't his fault. Life doesn't always give us what we want.

I want to write at length about the things that life has taught me this year, but tonight is not the time. Not yet.

Ciao for now.