This will sound angsty, but it's not meant to be...

Why Mother's Day is painful for me...

When I was 21, I had a son that I gave up for adoption. I believe that this was the most selfless act I've ever performed. I did what was best for the child, end of story.

But every year, on Mother's Day, I weep. I weep because I did not get to see my little boy grow to be a man (he's 27 now). I weep because I missed all those things I hear people complain about - the midnight feedings, the temper tantrums, the teenage rebellions. I weep because I wonder if I'm a Grandma, and I'm missing out on those moments too.

I would give anything to have experienced those things with my son.

Every time I heard someone say "Happy Mother's Day" - I cringe... because no one recognizes me as their Mother. You might say that I gave up that right when I gave up my son, and in essence, you are correct.

But that doesn't make it hurt any less.

Ciao for now.