Whew!

OK, I'm glad to be home.

I didn't get anything written yesterday because my day turned out to be so bloody long I was exhausted and not really creative at all last night. I dropped the car off at Firestone at 7 a.m. (I don't usually have to be at work until 9:30 a.m.). Got to work at 7:45 a.m. and worked until 6:30 p.m. because my ride wasn't ready to leave at 6. Got to Firestone, and they were really backed up, and it was almost 7:30 before he called my name to pick up the car... only to tell me that they would need it back this morning to finish.

I had them do a brake job, and when they got it back together Friday night, they realized that I still didn't have any "pedal" - when they took one of the rear wheels off, they discovered that I was missing one of the "adjusters" that creates tension, gives you an emergency brake and holds your rear brakes in adjustment. Man, let me tell you, driving the car home last night without much pedal was really scary. I was happy to take it back this a.m. I didn't get home until about 8:30 p.m. last night. I just vegged for a while on the computer doing mindless surfing and then called it a night.

So, I bring the car to Firestone at 8 a.m. as we agreed last night, and it took the Ford dealership almost 2 hours to deliver them the parts they needed (well, longer, 'cause they called for the parts the night before). Then, for whatever reason, it took them another hour and a half to get it fixed. I got home at noon today.

I'm just now getting settled in so I can write. Don't know what I'm going to do the rest of the day. I'd like to do a little shopping, but it's so blasted cold outside I think I'll stick close to home.

Ciao for now.

A couple of things...

I've been reading my friends' journals today and it struck me that I should probably share something that I believe in that strikes to the heart of many of the issues raised. It doesn't matter whether you are religious person, a spiritual person, or don't believe in anything other than yourself, each person needs to have some kind of "code" that they live by.

In the old days, they had chivalry. The Christian religion has their "Ten Commandments," the Judaic faith has Talmudic laws that cover almost anything (aka kosher foods, etc.). For me, it goes back to something much more simple that covers just about all the bases. It's something my father once told me.

1) Never say anything you don't want the whole world to hear.
2) Never write anything you don't want the whole world to read.
3) Never do anything you don't want the whole world to watch.

Now, this is not about being an exhibitionist, or lacking tact, etc., it's about realizing that everything that we say, write and do has consequences. It's about accountability, and being responsible for the choices that we make in life. If I tell friend X that friend Y is sleeping around behind her boyfriend's back - even if I ask 'X' to "keep a secret" - I should be prepared for the consquences when Y finds out what I said about her. But I have a saying about that too.. "It ain't gossip, if it's true." Sometimes we have to be prepared to give our friends "tough love" when they need it and point out that they're being an idiot.

Of course, everything is colored by one's own perceptions. And no two people look at the world in the same light. But you should always be prepared to stand up for those things you believe in. If your words are going to hurt someone, are you willing to lose that friendship? If so, go ahead and say what you will. If you're not willing to risk the relationship, why open that can of worms. There is no such thing as a secret. If it has to be a secret (other than a surprise party), then it's probably not worth doing to begin with. You have to be willing to risk the emotional pain of others as consequences for your own actions. They're going to find out. Someone always finds out.

If you can follow those three things above, no one will ever be able to put you in a situation where they blackmail you in any way, physically, emotionally or monetarily, because you have nothing to hide. Perhaps this is an "advanced" world view. Maybe it's not possible for everyone to behave this way.

This is not to say that I haven't fucked up my own code in my life. I have, but when I have, I learned important lessons. So the screw-ups come fewer and farther in between these days. I guess it's just my key to happiness.

Ciao

More musings...

I got to thinking about some of the things I wrote earlier. Even within my code, there are "levels" of conformity.

On a base level, I am comfortable with everything I say being seen by everyone I know (or even strangers, for that matter). However, that doesn't mean that I would actively *share* that information with the masses.

I think these journals are great. They are a wonderful place for people to get things off their chest and get feedback from people who aren't so close to the situation that they have a stake in what is going on.

But as more and more people meet and become friends in real life, the more complexity it adds to the situation. You may want and need to vent about something your friend did, but if they're on LJ with you, how do you go about doing that without feeling like you have put them on the spot?

For me, I struggled with whether or not I would post in response to artyste's question about sexual abuse.

Yes, I was abused as a child. Yes, many of my real life friends know about it, and know who the abuser is. However, I don't believe it is appropriate for me to write about it in a journal that could potentially be read by that person. For one thing, you begin to toy with issues such as libel and slander.

So, on frustrating days, my friends may become letters of the alphabet. This is not to say that they won't read my journal and realize that I am supremely pissed off at them. However, it doesn't broadcast their identity to the world. Why would I do that? Well, as I said in my previous post, everyone looks at the world differently. I would not want strangers to think ill of one of my friends just because one day my hormones were being over-active and I got ticked off at something inconsequential and wrote about it in my journal to help blow off steam.

On a happier note...

I got my order from Barnes & Noble today. I had a webcertificate that I used to buy myself a couple of books for Christmas. The two titles I selected are from my current favorite author, Deepak Chopra. My latest acquisitions are "Restful Sleep" and "Everyday Immortality."

I have six of his other titles, and I will probably collect all his works. There is a lot of "overlap" in his writing, but his books are so positive, so affirming, that they are very uplifting to read.

After I chow down I'm going to see about customizing my journal a little bit. I've been tempted to go to The Vault tonight just so I can see if I can recognize any of the other LJ people there. Of course, knowing me, I'd never approach any of them. I have this huge voyeuristic streak. For me, it would simply be enough to know that I was there.

Eww....I suppose that sounds kinda creepy. It's not. It's just that if I were to go there, I wouldn't be there as part of the "invited" crowd... and my manners would preclude me from intruding on other people's fun. So I'm just polite, not a stalker.

But, then again. It's cold outside. I hate the cold. I moved away from the Midwest to get away from the cold. I was doing much better in Seattle than here (believe it or not, their winters *are* warmer, no matter how far North they are... or maybe it was just because I was sharing a bed with someone there... who knows).

Ciao for now.