![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I don't know why I did it. Maybe because it was such a beautiful day outside today. I got in my car to go out to lunch, and after the restaurant I wanted to go to looked extremely busy, I just started driving aimlessly around Atlanta.
Atlanta... I'm still not really sure why I'm here. Well, there's the truth, which is just such a fucked up story that I don't like to think about it. I mean though, karmically, why did I end up here? It's not really the place I would have imagined myself in. Seattle always felt much more like home to me. But those were my gypsy, wandering days.
Apparently, those days came to an end when I hit Atlanta. I don't know why, I don't even really *like* it here. But I can't seem to leave, either. Mostly because I'm not sure anywhere else would be any better. At least, not anywhere that doesn't already harbour ghosts that I don't want to face.
But back to today. I drove all around the north end of Atlanta.. past almost every place I've lived over the last seven years (I've lived in my current apt. 3 years and 5 months, but when I first got here I bounced around a lot). It's amazing how much this city has changed, and how old haunts and hangouts, lost, but not forgotten, have gone out of business. Thomas Wolfe wrote, "You can't go home again." Heck, that even applies to next door if you haven't been paying close enough attention.
So for three hours today I just drove. Half a tank of gas (I love my Aspire). The windows were down, the wind was in my hair (what there is of it), and I loved every minute of it. My back didn't even bother me like it usually does when I do that much driving. The time actually passed by very quickly.
Thoughout the whole ride, I thought about the roommates I'd had, the places that I had worked, the joys, the sorrows, the trials and tribulations of the last seven years. And I thought a lot about the future too, and where I am, and where I want to be. I'm not quite sure how I got here. I've never really had any specific "career goals" other than to enjoy what I do. That's probably why I've done so many different things over the year.
But I do love what I do these days. I'm blessed. I work for a good company, I have wonderful co-workers, and on most days, the work isn't horrible. In fact, it gets better as time goes by. It's challenging, and I'm learning new things every day. I guess that I just worry that I'm learning things that are only applicable to my company, and no where else. I'm not sure I'd be that valuable in the general marketplace, at least, not at the level I am within my current company. That's the breaks when you're working with proprietary applications, however.
What do I want in the future? Oh, there are several things I could do. But you know, I've never really ended up where I was headed in the first place, so I think I'll let go of this too. I'll wind up where I'm supposed to wind up. I know one thing though, I'll be happy. Happiness is the key. I may be alone and sometimes I even feel lonely, but I have a kind of peace and balance in my life that I know most people struggle for their whole lives. And for that, I'm blessed.
Ciao for now.
Atlanta... I'm still not really sure why I'm here. Well, there's the truth, which is just such a fucked up story that I don't like to think about it. I mean though, karmically, why did I end up here? It's not really the place I would have imagined myself in. Seattle always felt much more like home to me. But those were my gypsy, wandering days.
Apparently, those days came to an end when I hit Atlanta. I don't know why, I don't even really *like* it here. But I can't seem to leave, either. Mostly because I'm not sure anywhere else would be any better. At least, not anywhere that doesn't already harbour ghosts that I don't want to face.
But back to today. I drove all around the north end of Atlanta.. past almost every place I've lived over the last seven years (I've lived in my current apt. 3 years and 5 months, but when I first got here I bounced around a lot). It's amazing how much this city has changed, and how old haunts and hangouts, lost, but not forgotten, have gone out of business. Thomas Wolfe wrote, "You can't go home again." Heck, that even applies to next door if you haven't been paying close enough attention.
So for three hours today I just drove. Half a tank of gas (I love my Aspire). The windows were down, the wind was in my hair (what there is of it), and I loved every minute of it. My back didn't even bother me like it usually does when I do that much driving. The time actually passed by very quickly.
Thoughout the whole ride, I thought about the roommates I'd had, the places that I had worked, the joys, the sorrows, the trials and tribulations of the last seven years. And I thought a lot about the future too, and where I am, and where I want to be. I'm not quite sure how I got here. I've never really had any specific "career goals" other than to enjoy what I do. That's probably why I've done so many different things over the year.
But I do love what I do these days. I'm blessed. I work for a good company, I have wonderful co-workers, and on most days, the work isn't horrible. In fact, it gets better as time goes by. It's challenging, and I'm learning new things every day. I guess that I just worry that I'm learning things that are only applicable to my company, and no where else. I'm not sure I'd be that valuable in the general marketplace, at least, not at the level I am within my current company. That's the breaks when you're working with proprietary applications, however.
What do I want in the future? Oh, there are several things I could do. But you know, I've never really ended up where I was headed in the first place, so I think I'll let go of this too. I'll wind up where I'm supposed to wind up. I know one thing though, I'll be happy. Happiness is the key. I may be alone and sometimes I even feel lonely, but I have a kind of peace and balance in my life that I know most people struggle for their whole lives. And for that, I'm blessed.
Ciao for now.
