The importance of sacrifice...

I am often told that "you deserve more" or "you deserve better" because one relationship or another doesn't fit into that individual's definition of "traditional."

But just because something or someone is difficult does not mean that they are not worth the struggle. I find that few people know the true meaning of sacrifice these days. Of "doing without" now because they want to "do it right" later.

If I choose to wait for someone because they are worth it, it's my choice. I don't care if it is a day, a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime. Sometimes, those encounters are the ones that are the most sweet, for those are the ones you have sacrificed the most for.

At my age, I recognize the things I want in a companion quite quickly. The longer I've been alone, the pickier I've become. However, the older we all become, the more responsibilities that we have. The more "commitments" on our time that we have to accommodate, etc. For two people who actually "have a life" it is a tremendous challenge to reschedule so that they can see one another enough to explore a serious relationship.

Currently, I'm making a sacrifice because I believe that the individual is worth it. Plus, I believe that I'm guilty of "cutting and running" too soon on some of my past relationships. This one isn't easy, by any stretch of the imagination, but the rewards have been phenomenal.

This is excerpted from a *much* longer email I wrote a while ago...

"As I grew older and wiser, I looked for an equal, someone with the same passion for living, the drive to succeed (understand, I don't consider monetary success truly a measure of trying to succeed at life), mental capacity, love of laughter, etc. Someone who could value the person that I have become, and coax my feminine side out to play when we were in private. Honestly, I had given up on finding that animal. I thought they were like the unicorn, a mythical beast that we all love, but would never really find.

That is, until I met you. That's the connection that I feel we share, and that's why it is so important to me. I see you as an equal in all things, someone who can "keep up" with the frenetic pace that I keep for myself. Someone who knows when to put me in my place, when to compromise with me, and when to just give up and let me have my way. A man who is as complex in his inner workings as I am in mine. Someone who says things by his actions, not his words. But, even being equals, this is not to say that we are the same. Far from it. We express ourselves very differently, and I can tell that our thought processes are different as well."

This is what I feel, and this is why I love so deeply. I don't really expect anyone else to understand, but I wanted to express myself anyway.

Ciao for now.

Courage...

Courage is not the lack of fear.

Courage is the presence of fear and the fortitude to face it.

Ciao for now.

Is this a sad statement of fact...

...that I have never had a man buy me jewelry of any kind?

That I purchased/paid for both of my own engagement rings?

That no one has so much as ever bought me a bracelet, necklace or earrings?

A couple of years ago, I gave up on the men in my life. Thankfully, now I have a beautiful collection of black pearls and diamonds. Tahitian black pearls are now my gemstone of choice, mostly because they are unusual.

They wonder why I'm not "girly."

Someday, someone will be the first to buy me a precious gem.

And I will cry.

Ciao for now.