tinuvial | My new social experiment continues...

I have gotten several emails going... "How do I know you?"

I guess there is this unspoken LJ etiquette that says you should ask someone before you friend them... Well folks, here is the scoop, um... no, not gonna happen.

LJ is public social media. You don't have to friend anyone back that friends you. After all, by friending you, I am giving you access to my "friends only posts" (which, btw, there have been less than a couple of dozen over the course of eight years on LJ). I am not demanding that you friend me back, meet me, fall in love with me or anything of the sort. I just want to broaden my horizons, absorb more perspectives, and yes, make some new friends.

Of course, this is one of the reasons I have always disliked the term "friends list" - to me, it is a compilation of writing from multiple sources. People may or may not be "friends" in the traditional sense of the word. Until I started my little experiment, I had met almost everyone on my LJ, even those I met through LJ as far away as Las Vegas (waves at

lordremo).

I'm trying to expand my perspectives. I love reading LJ, I love the creativity, the passion, the fervor with which many people write. I admit it, I'm a literary voyeur. I love to have my thoughts provoked and my mind expanded.

I would hope that you add me to your "people whose journals I read" list. Yes, I have a filter named exactly like that, so that I can keep track of them. But you might or might not get on one of the other filters that are used to limit content to those who wish to receive it (such as my BDSM filter, or my book filter, or weight loss filter, etc).

I may not know you, but I hope that by reading your journal, I will get to know you soon.

Ciao for now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Date: 2009-01-15 10:29 pm (UTC)

From:

jovan-scorn.livejournal.com

no subject

LJ is not any one specific thing, it is a tool whose use is defined by the user.

Six apart may call it a networking tool and that influences the user who sign on and use it which is fine. But the fact that the information here both in content and control is so varied it's impossible to say it's just one thing, especially and open forum for all to view.

To compare it's like a blank notebook. You can take it home and write in it never to show anyone your thoughts, you can write a best selling novel, you can draw art for just yourself or your friends, or you could write a scathing political manifesto and pass it around for all to see. The only thing LJ can do that the notebook can't is have links and media from all over the internet collected there or linked there.

Date: 2009-01-16 12:35 am (UTC)

tinuvial.livejournal.com

I totally agree with you...

My goal is just to see how far I can stretch my reach and still be able to read the entire list daily, I suppose. I love LJ, I think it's a much better example of SEO than MySpace or Facebook. Of course, that's my .02, and YMMV.

Date: 2009-01-15 11:30 pm (UTC)

scottopic.livejournal.com

I don't think it's an unspoken rule, but don't consider it exactly untoward to ask.

Date: 2009-01-15 11:45 pm (UTC)

I think at the very least it's good netiquette. Good habits to cultivate.

Date: 2009-01-26 12:13 am (UTC)

sharpchick.livejournal.com

Well, I'll be the "disagreeable" one here. I wrote about this a few weeks ago in my own journal.

I hate that LJ calls it a "friends" list. I know three of the people in mine in real life. . . the rest could walk up and smack me and I wouldn't know who the hell they were.

I'm reading journals that I like when I "friend" them. . . not getting the keys to the front door or a peek at anyone's checkbook register. I can't see locked posts unless the journal owner adds me.

So no permission is needed from anyone and likewise, none is required if I "unfriend" the journal. Seing people post asinine "rules" about who, how, what and why someone can "friend" their journal make me laugh and close the browser.

If people do not want their journals added to other people's reading lists, then they can handle that by locking all their entries. Otherwise public entries are just that - public.

It's the internet, not cotillion.

Edited Date: 2009-01-26 12:14 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-01-26 03:23 am (UTC)

Seeing people post asinine "rules" about who, how, what and why someone can "friend" their journal make me laugh and close the browser. and I responded:

This sounds like common a netiquette rule right here. "Avoid people that you disagree with."

I take it then you avoid people like me who have such rules which, oddly enough, works out in both our best interests. See? There is a balance.

Date: 2009-01-26 12:18 pm (UTC)

I think you've missed my point. We are reading each other's journals here. . . not inviting ourselves to each other's homes. If a blogger makes posts public, why would s/he care if another blogger chose to read it on their own page?

And you responded to

scottopic - I responded to you.

Edited Date: 2009-01-26 12:19 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-01-16 12:36 am (UTC)

I don't disagree...

but I'm a rebel at times. And, if someone *asks* me to "unfriend" them, then I will.

Date: 2009-01-16 12:37 am (UTC)

but I'm a rebel at times. And if someone asks me to "unfriend" them, I will. I've always believed that it's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

Date: 2009-01-15 11:49 pm (UTC)

quaero-verum.livejournal.com

Well! this is cool, because you are only the second person in the entire history of my own LJ to spontaneously "friend" me out of nowhere.

Makes me feel loved. <3

And I see you're in tight with

2redpath5 and

nevermind_that so you must be cool too. And I, like you, love to make new friends.

Thanks for the add!

Edited Date: 2009-01-15 11:49 pm (UTC)

Date: 2009-01-16 12:38 am (UTC)

You're very welcome...

And I've tried to post daily about what I'm trying to do, how and why, so I would hope people would at least try to understand my perspective.

Date: 2009-01-19 03:22 am (UTC)

nevermind-that.livejournal.com

I am stalking you.

Date: 2009-01-19 07:07 pm (UTC)

Better you than a few other folks I know!

Date: 2009-01-16 01:48 pm (UTC)

dmedicus.livejournal.com

I look to see if we have mutual friends. And if we do then I friend back. How do you get to know people, if you want to know them already.

Date: 2009-01-17 06:50 am (UTC)

jenna-sb.livejournal.com

There are several people I have "met" on LJ that I have not met in real life. I only know them through the lens of live journal, and yet I pull for them when times are tough, I want them to succeed, and I miss hearing about their lives when they don't post. Through getting to know them I have had my thoughts inspired and my point of view expanded. I love livejournal for just that reason.

Date: 2009-01-17 07:56 am (UTC)

Interestingly enough...

your journal was pointed out to me by an ex-bf of mine who was trying to figure out if he knew you and your Master IRL. After reading you the first time, I fell in love with your frank and honest discussion of your M/s relationship, and I treasure every insight you provide into your life.