10 things I've learned about friendship...

[tinuvial]

Yesterday, I spent the day doing girl stuff with my friend J (who is LJ-less) from Charleston, SC. We got pedicures, had lunch at The Highlander and went shopping at IKEA. J and I have never lived in the same city, but we make time for each other when she comes to town to visit her parents, and I try to make it to Charleston at least every couple of years (it's been far too long, actually).

Tonight, I'm having dinner with koranger at On The Border. Even though I'm no longer in The Camarilla, we've managed to make time to have dinner together three-four times a year.

I don't consider myself high maintenance. You might feel differently, and that's OK. Your opinion of me is really none of my business. But I'd like to *see* my local friends at least three-four times a year, my US friends at least once every two years, and my non-US friends at least once every five years. (Proximity does have its price). That being said however, regular phone/email/IM traffic can exempt you from the in-person stuff if the interactions have quality.

Please note, these are things that I've learned about being friends with *me* - YMMV (also, in no particular order). These thoughts are also not meant to provoke guilt, but hey, if some of them sting a little bit, then maybe our friendship can be salvaged.

1) If you don't pick up the phone to call me at least once for every four times I call you, our friendship won't last.

2) You live just as far from me as I live from you. If I'm always driving to your side of town, our friendship won't last.

3) If we haven't had a deep conversation or two, our friendship won't last.

4) If the only time I see you is for some group event, our friendship won't last.

5) If I offer to help you in some way, and you refuse my generosity, our friendship won't last.

6) Conversely, if I ask for your help, and you blow me off, our friendship won't last.

7) If you don't share my sense of humor and can't laugh at my stories and jokes, our friendship won't last.

8) If you feel it necessary for me to share either your religious or political beliefs, our friendship won't last.

9) If you're not interested enough in me to read what I write, our friendship won't last.

10) If you don't accept my facebook request (or vice versa), our friendship didn't last.

Ciao for now...

Comments

[lanofaylin.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with this. I can't stand it when I feel like I'm carrying the burden of keeping a friendship up. And I do NOT click with people that don't get my sense of humor. Friendship is not a chore.

[lordremo.livejournal.com]

Only number 5 seems to not be a constant. I have have friends that, or at times I will refuse help either out of pride or to prevent uneeded burden with another but that doesn't lessen the friendship, because the offer was there when needed.

#10 on the other hand would doom me with all those "farmville" folks!

facebook request...

[tinuvial.livejournal.com]

Does not mean a game invite... it means the initial request to connect as friends... if you're ashamed to be on my list, shame on you. :)

[da-diva.livejournal.com]

I'm jealous of your dinner plans.

I wanna eat with y'all at On the Border! (Though..technically, the mexican food her is better...but still... it's the company!)

Heh..

[tinuvial.livejournal.com]

The Mexican food in your neck of the woods *is* decidedly better. My company as fabulous as usual, and it would have been awesome if you could have teleported here to join us. *hugs*

[saintslady.livejournal.com]

i read lots:)